How does one get through dark times? Surround yourself with people who will help and support you. This was not my initial strategy in my battle with Ulcerative Colitis (UC). As many people do when they suffer from IBD, I kept things to myself and masked the truth of my condition. It was because I finally reached out and allowed others to help, that I am still here today. I wanted to dedicate a post to all those who pulled me through and kept me going when I was ready to give up. If you know someone with a similar journey, I hope this gives you some ideas on how to reach out to someone who is pulling away.
Woof.
Health Care
I owe my life to many people, the obvious being the doctors and nurses who cared and looked after me through my countless admissions and 3 surgeries. My GP is an incredible person and went to bat for me many times. She came to visit me in the hospital on many occasions and even came on her day off when I was being rushed into my first emergency surgery. She went above and beyond her doctorly duties and I owe her my life.
RUH -The Good, The Bad, The Compassion
Even though the emergency department at RUH gets a bad name for the long wait times, I have nothing but wonderful things to say about the staff and their care. I came to know multiple staff members well in the ER as I was there often and when they saw me, they knew it was bad and I would be admitted quickly. If you have read my past blogs you know that my trips to emerg usually ended in aggressive steroid treatments, blood transfusions and/or surgery. There was one nurse, Jason that also went above and beyond his job description. I was always very anemic, and it was difficult to insert an IV. Jason could always get an IV started on the first try and even came to the hospital on his day off when multiple nurses and doctors failed after 16 attempts. If you have ever had an IV, you will know that 16 (yes I counted) failed attempts is a painful experience. We called Jason our angel nurse for always being there.
I was very fortunate to have a wonderful surgeon who is very thorough and caring. I had another doctor who really “dropped the ball” and was a main reason I almost didn’t make it to 23, if it hadn’t been for my surgeon and his team my story would have ended years ago. I still see my surgeon a few times a year for check up and scopes. While things have been quiet, I have had some infections and abscesses that have been UC related.
The Kindness
To anyone who visited, sent food or messages. My extended family and in-laws were all so supportive. They kept my spirits up and were there for my family who also struggled so much during this time. Fun Fact: You can send letters to people in the hospital through this website. They print it off at the hospital and deliver it to your room like a mailing service. It is a nice change from the traditional text and a welcomed surprise. I always enjoyed when people sent a personal note along with a joke or “when you’re out we’re doing this…”, it helped to get my mind out of the present-day gloominess and look forward to the better days that were ahead.
The Most Important
Now the most important support system and the biggest thank you(s) go out to my family. My sisters for always coming to visit me in the hospital, bringing soup and smiles. Having to deal with my steroid induced mood swings and having my back during the good and bad times. My now husband, but then boyfriend, Evan for loving me and making me feel beautiful no matter how moon faced I got or how scarred my tummy. It is hard, at first, to feel beautiful with a colostomy bag but somehow, he made it possible.
Finally, to my parents. My dad would always bring whatever food I was craving/allowed to have. He would work all day and then spend hours with me in the evening playing backgammon or telling stories of school or family history to take my mind off my current reality. Finally, to my mom. My champion, voice and strength. She brought me into this world and 5 years ago she fought like hell to keep me in it. She spent hours -I’m talking 12+ hours a day at the hospital with me. Sleeping in chairs, dealing with doctors and telling and re-telling my story/symptoms when I was too weak to do it myself. She is the reason I am here today. I am blessed with many things, but my fearless and loving parents are at the top of that list.
My crazy crew!
It's the Little Things
It is easy to get wrapped up in our own lives. We’re all busy and get caught up in our daily routines. However, if you know someone who is struggling with their health (IBD or not), even reaching out through a text just to ask how they are or if you have time to stop by, set up a short visit. I pulled away from many people when I was sick and sometimes felt forgotten -after cancelling plans so many times without a detailed explanation I couldn’t blame them, but it meant the world to me when people took the time to pull me back. The smallest gesture truly can make a world of difference.
Thank you