I knew from the start that due to my medical history, I wasn’t going to be able to have a natural childbirth. I was told early on, after my first surgery that a c-section was the safest way to deliver any future babies. If you haven’t been following along or need a refresher, after a long struggle with Ulcerative Colitis I had over 99% of my colon removed on my 23rd birthday via emergency surgery after I had become septic. This left me with a colostomy bag for a year before luckily, having it reversed.
So, fast forward 3 years and I am pregnant with our daughter Rowyn and given 2 options on how to bring her into the world. The first being to try and have a normal childbirth and risk tearing (pregnancy is glamorous) which would leave me with a permanent colostomy bag. The second and safer option was to have a scheduled c-section which would reduce the risk of damage to my J-pouch. Without hesitation, I chose the latter. Recovering from a colectomy the first time was hella difficult, I couldn’t imagine doing it with a baby.
Pregnancy
I had a very easy and uneventful pregnancy which was a blessing. We got our OR date and our little one was scheduled to come into the world via c-section June 25, 2018. I liked knowing when our monkey was going to arrive. I am not one for surprises and like to be well planned so having a set countdown was great. I also had the "advantage" of 3 prior surgeries, so I knew what to roughly expect and was told a c-section was relatively minor compared to my past experiences. I wasn't nervous about the actual surgery. Any excitement/nerves I had was the fact that they were about to hand me a brand-new human and I was going to be someone’s mama!
June 25, 2018
We weren’t scheduled to be at the hospital until 11:00 am so it was nice to be able to wake up and have (our last) relaxed morning. I was able to shower and wash my hair -which I wouldn't do for the next 3+ weeks so thank goodness I did. We didn’t want to pay for 4+ days of parking at the hospital so my dad picked us up and drove us to RUH. It was an odd feeling walking so calmly into the hospital knowing when we left, we would be a family of 3. We got checked in and suited up for the OR. The team was amazing. From our OBGYN, nurses, anesthesiologist, my family doctor even came for the event -everyone was so wonderful. They took me in first to get a spinal tap to numb my lower half then brought Evan in as they started the actual c-section. I have to add, that if anyone is in a similar position where they have to -or are being encouraged to have a c-section, our experience was fantastic, and I am so happy with how our girl was brought into this world. While the anesthesiologist’s job was done after 10 minutes of the spinal he had to stay in the room as a precaution, he took it upon himself to play DJ and played songs and chatted with us while they worked on me. It was awesome and a welcomed distraction that kept us both calm.
Our first family photo
She’s Here!
“I see some hair!”. I felt a final tug and our girl came into the world! They pulled down the curtain and our sweet Rowyn Sonia was finally here! Evan went with them as they took her to get cleaned off and check her vitals. He brought her back and I got to hold her for the first time. It was amazing.
first snuggle with daddy
We spent the next few hours in recovery, soaking up baby snuggles and enjoying time just the 3 of us. When the numbing had worn off, they took us upstairs to a single room and our families got to come in and meet her. This was one of my favourite memories, getting to introduce our little girl to her family. There is nothing quite like the instant love of a new family member. We are blessed with amazing families and thank goodness because the events that followed this day, we would not have made it through without them.
Storm Clouds
The first 24 hours with our girl was filled with love, smiles and cuddles. It was when day 2 hit that something started to feel off. I was very tired -which is expected. I was sore -which is normal. But I felt off. I knew something wasn’t right. I knew it in my gut (pun intended) that something was coming. I’d had that feeling before and I hadn’t been wrong yet. However, I have apparently learned nothing from my past instincts and tried to brush it off. Rowyn was doing so well, we stayed in the hospital for 4 days and decided to go home. By this point I felt drained and nauseous, I tried to tell myself it was from lack of sleep and recovering from surgery. I didn’t even have the energy to walk to the car. My dad had to find a wheelchair to push me in.
We got home and I collapsed on the couch. I couldn’t even make it up the stairs on my own. I had barely eaten in 2 days and couldn’t manage to get anything down I felt so nauseous. I was nursing Rowyn that evening when out of nowhere I started throwing up -luckily there was an empty bin close by. I went to bed that night in a fog with a lot of stomach pain -not from the c-section. When I woke up in the morning, I couldn’t even get out of bed by myself.
The Storm
My mom took me to see my GP, Evan stayed home to take care of Rowyn. I don't remember much of the following 12ish hours but this is what I know: we got to the clinic and I couldn't even sit upright in a chair -they took us immediately to the back. I laid down on the table and lost consciousness. When I came-to, an ambulance had arrived and they were trying to get me onto the gurney. I was semi-conscious at this point and remember being so embarrassed -I don't know why- as they wheeled me out through the waiting room and all eyes were on me. I closed my eyes and cried. This was not how things were supposed to go. I was supposed to be at home with my baby girl, soaking up the newborn snuggles, not strapped down in an ambulance receiving IV fluids and pain killers.
NG Tube & baby snuggles
I was back in the hospital less than a day after being discharged. I was feeling more ‘with-it’ after some IV fluids, but I still had a strong, constant pain in my stomach and lower abdomen. I was put on Dilaudid as the naproxen I was on wasn't strong enough to even touch the pain. The next few days were rough. After some tests, they found I had a bladder infection, but they couldn't identify the reason for the stomach pain. I was put on antibiotics for the infection. They then decided to insert an NG tube. This is when they insert a tube (a lot bigger than I was anticipating) into your nose and down into your stomach to drain the contents of the stomach. Inserting the tube was awful. They fed it through my nose and when it got to my throat, they said to keep swallowing all the while I'm throwing up all over myself. I remember feeling so defeated at that moment. To make it suck a little more, this stayed in for 4 days. I was going through tests, scopes and other invasive procedures, I couldn't see my daughter for more than an hour or two a day, I was in so much pain, and they still couldn't tell me what was wrong with me.
After a total of 12 days in the hospital, barely eating and aggressive antibiotics, I went home. I was a complete skeleton. I went into the hospital to have Rowyn at 170lbs. When I left, I was a weak and atrophied, barely-there 110lbs. I couldn't walk up the stairs on my own, let alone carry a newborn. Less than a week later a few days after my antibiotics were done, the pain came back; searing abdominal pain, and I was in the hospital again - away from my baby. Barely eating, I was unable to get out of bed on my own. Back on the antibiotics and some hella strong pain meds, I felt exhausted and devastated. I felt like my body was failing me and I was failing my baby. It was the most difficult thing I had ever gone through.
My Village
looking rough but finally home
In moments like this, it is so important to have your village, and mine stepped up like I could have never imagined. Both our families were a constant blessing. My family was at the hospital supporting and advocating for me, while Evan’s family was supporting us on the Rowyn front. I don’t know what we would’ve done without them. Evan was exhausted, but still brought Rowyn to the hospital every day for an hour or two so I could feed her and get as much baby snuggles as possible.
After another 5 days in the hospital, I was discharged again with antibiotics. I was weak but feeling better. I got my appetite back and was eating small amounts throughout the day. When I got home, I was thankful to finally be with my little family but it was hard. I felt like I had missed so much, and I was struggling to take care of myself let alone a newborn. Evan was a natural at this point and watching him with her filled my heart with such joy.
The Rainbow
The weeks following were tough but slowly I improved, and every day felt a little more manageable. It wasn’t until a year later that I had an appointment with my OBGYN to inquire if trying to get pregnant again was even an option for us -more on that later, that she said she believes it was the naproxen that essentially burned through my stomach lining and was wreaking havoc on my insides. We won't ever know for sure. However, it has been almost 2 years since Rowyn joined our family and after those few months of hell, we have had the most amazing time as a family of three.
The Superheroes
Our village was everything and I don’t know what we would’ve done without them! My mom never left my side and as always was my voice and advocate -she has gotten pretty good at this point. My dad was designated the “milk man” and would take everything I could pump (which wasn’t a lot because I had barely eaten) back to Rowyn at home. My sisters brought me soup, company and even took Rowyn for a night to give Evan some rest. My in-laws, from meals to supporting Evan and Row, it would’ve been almost impossible without them. And Evan proved over and over how amazing a husband and now daddy he was and spent the first few weeks learning the ropes of parenthood, solo. I always knew we made a great team, but this was by far the greatest challenge we’d have to overcome together, and I could not have asked for a more incredible partner.
